Spiritual Warfare: Sex is a Gift and a Guard (1 Corinthians 7:1-7)
In our culture, sex is often treated like a commodity. It is something you can trade to gain some advantage, whether financial or relational. Sex is traded to gain professional favors and control the power dynamic of a relationship. This transactional outlook on sex diminishes the value and beauty of the act itself and the players involved. Moreover, this perspective invites spiritual harm, opening the door for demonic oppression in our lives. Recognizing the profound spiritual implications of our choices surrounding sexuality is vital, as our intimate lives are often battlegrounds in which spiritual warfare is waged.
Big Idea: Sex is a gift and a guard. The central theme of 1 Corinthians 7:1-7 conveys that sex is not merely a function of physical desire but rather a divine gift that serves as both a blessing and a protective guard within marriage. Let’s explore this passage together and see how we can fight against the schemes Satan uses in our sexual lives to harm us.
1 Corinthians 7:1, “Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”
The passage begins with a question from the Corinthian believers to their founding pastor, Paul. However, the tone of this inquiry raises suspicion; it may not stem from a humble quest for understanding but rather from an argumentative posture seeking to win a debate. This odd query is particularly surprising given the context of what Paul has already revealed about this church in this letter. In Chapter 5, Paul rebuked this church for celebrating the immoral behaviors of incest. Now, the church is asking about celibacy within marriage.
Historical perspectives on sexuality during Paul’s time likely contributed to this confusion. Some individuals believed that lifelong celibacy was a sign of spiritual maturity, influenced by dualistic thinking that separated bodily impulses from spiritual desires. This dualism fostered both asceticism and licentiousness, complicating the understanding of healthy sexuality within God's design. Some in the church believed you should freely explore your sexual impulses, and others thought you should deny your sexual appetite. Some wanted the lifestyle of Las Vegas, and others wanted a monastery.
Paul could not allow these extremes to continue within the church. Both of these ideas were causing spiritual harm and leaving the members vulnerable to the attack of Satan. Paul answers the Corinthians’ questions in a structured way. I like to refer to his grammatical structure as a “Big Mac” construction. Just like a Big Mac alternates between meat and bread, so Paul will alternate between two ideas: 1. Sex as a gift and 2. Sex as a guard. Let’s walk through the entire paragraph and then deal with each idea at a time.
1 Corinthians 7:2-7, “2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.”
In verses 3-4 and 6-7, we see that sex is a gift. Sex is a gift from God and a gift that a husband and a wife give to each other. According to verse 7, some have been given a gift from God to remain single, while others have been given “another” gift. I believe the gift that Paul is referring to in this context is the gift of sexual intimacy within marriage. When we zoom out and consider the rest of Scripture, we see that sex is a holy blessing for us to enjoy. Sex is not inherently evil. Sex is not simply a necessary evil that we have to govern by the monogamy of marriage to keep us from falling into greater sin. We are told in the book of Genesis that God created Adam and Eve for intimacy. They were to become “one flesh” and “be fruitful and multiply.” The first command given to the first couple was to have sex. After the Fall, this beautiful intimacy that God designed to be a blessing experienced brokenness. Paul does not condemn our sex drives but instead speaks to their power and how to handle them. We steward this gift from God by giving this gift to our spouse.
Sex, in these verses, is spoken of as an exchange of gifts, not the trading of a commodity. When we trade a commodity, our interests are primarily selfish. We want to know what we will get out of the deal. Paul speaks of sex as a selfless act of giving oneself over to the other for their pleasure. Paul’s language here is shocking. His first-century reader would have been surprised at what he wrote. In this chapter, Paul commands both genders on how to behave toward one another eight times. In the Jewish culture, men were directly addressed, and women were indirectly addressed. Here, Paul is putting them on equal footing.
He articulates a reciprocal exchange of conjugal rights, stating, “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.” Here, Paul challenges the notion of sexual obligation by insisting on mutual authority over each other’s bodies. In a society where husbands were often seen as entitled to sexual privilege, Paul’s teaching that both men and women share equal rights and responsibilities was revolutionary. Usually, in our culture, sex is talked about as a husband’s privilege and a wife’s obligation. Paul’s teaching here challenges that kind of thinking. He puts both sexes on the same playing field. Both the husband and the wife receive the same instruction. It would be shocking in Paul’s context to say that a wife has “authority” over her husband's body. Paul doesn’t leave sex in the sole control of one of the partners.
Crucially, Paul emphasizes that marital intimacy should not be viewed as a transaction or a commodity but rather a gift to be freely given. Both partners should approach their sexual relationship with a mindset of love and service. Instead of focusing on what is owed to them, spouses should consider what they owe to one another, fostering an environment of mutual respect and love. Paul argues that both men and women have sexual needs. Each partner should be concerned primarily with the sexual needs of their partner over their own. This fits with what Paul taught them concerning the nature of love.
Later in this letter, Paul will tell them that love “does not insist on its own way” (1 Corinthians 13:5). In a healthy marriage, we should see sexual needs articulated because questions are being asked and not demands being made. Husbands and wives who follow Paul's advice here should initiate conversations by asking each other if their sexual needs are being met. A wife or husband should not have to advocate for themselves because their spouse is already seeking to discover how to bring about more sexual gratification in their life. Biblical sex is an act of service. When we don’t serve our spouse’s sexual needs, we put them in a place to be attacked by Satan.
Sex within marriage acts as a guard against temptation. Paul warns against depriving one another, suggesting that abstaining from sex, even for spiritual purposes, should only be a temporary measure agreed upon by both partners. In Judaism, a husband could abstain from his wife for prayer and study and only had to inform her of his decision. He didn’t have to get her approval, which Paul says is necessary in this passage. This again shows the mutual responsibility and respect required in a couple’s sex life.
Paul highlights that regular sexual intimacy protects against various temptations, recognizing that a lack of self-control can lead individuals away from God’s intended design. The Greek word we translate as “temptation to sexual immorality” is in the plural, which indicates that Paul was referring to a host of sexual sins the Corinthians were tempted with. Abstaining from sex in marriage may be why some of the Corinthians are engaging with prostitutes, which Paul references in Chapter 6.
Paul’s use of the word “deprive” underscores the gravity of this situation. It implies that withholding intimacy can be like robbing one’s partner of a vital part of their relationship. Sexual desire, like hunger, is a natural desire that we can overindulge and neglect. Both can cause us serious harm. If we overindulge our hunger, we can compromise our health. If we neglect our hunger, we can starve ourselves. Sex is similar to this and also different. Overindulgence and neglect are harmful, like with food, but the nature of meeting this need is dependent. We are dependent on someone else for sexual intimacy. Paul is warning the Corinthians not to starve their spouses of sex. This will leave them open to Satan’s attack.
We shouldn’t want to make holiness difficult for our spouses. We should want them to find it easy to maintain their sexual purity. Paul is arguing that each spouse bears some, not all, responsibility for the sexual purity of their partner. Sexually neglecting our spouses is a sin and makes them more susceptible to sin.
Sex is a gift and a guard. Sadly, I have seen many couples undervalue the spiritual nature of sex. They haven't seen it as a gift to increase intimacy or as a guard to fight against sexual perversion. Instead, they treat it as a commodity to be traded for self-gain, which then leads to each partner seeking their own sexual satisfaction when the other is not willing to trade. This often leads to pornography consumption and even adultery. Imagine the depth of sexual intimacy and satisfaction a couple could experience if each spouse prioritized the sexual pleasure of their spouse.
If you are a married couple, I want to invite you to experience the divine gift of sex in a deeper way by asking your spouse a simple question this week: “How can I serve you better sexually?” Let your partner share, and then commit to doing what you feel comfortable with and what is within the boundaries of Scripture. This should be a fun conversation you both enjoy.
If you are not yet married, I invite you to see the wisdom of God’s design for sex. If sex is a vulnerable and humble act of service to another that brings about intimacy and mutual satisfaction, then commitment is necessary. The commitment of marriage is the only environment where sexual vulnerability and intimacy can be enjoyed. Treating sex like a consumer product to be traded undermines our enjoyment of it. God wants you to have a great sex life, and as its designer, he knows the best way for you to enjoy it.
Life-Level Application
Head: Read Proverbs 7. Describe the characteristics of the “young man” and the “adulterous woman.” How does the chapter depict the nature of temptation? What strategies does the adulterous woman use to entice the young man? What does this suggest about the nature of temptation in our lives today?
Heart: Look back at Proverbs 7. How are emotions depicted in this chapter? What role do feelings play in the young man’s decision-making process as he encounters the woman? What are the potential consequences of succumbing to temptation, as outlined in this chapter?
Hand: Read Hebrews 13:4. What does it mean to “honor” marriage and to keep the marriage bed “undefiled?” How does the biblical view of sexuality, as presented in Hebrews 13:4, contrast with common societal views today? What challenges does this create for Christians?
Habit: Read Ephesians 5:21-33. How does a Christian marriage practically express the love and sacrifice described in these verses?